


Baby blue

by 21Nemere



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bokuaka - Freeform, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, It's 4am what am I even doing, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mentioned Kozume Kenma, Mentioned Kuroo Tetsurou, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Sad, Sad Ending, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 19:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9087445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/21Nemere/pseuds/21Nemere
Summary: “Good morning, Bokuto-san.”He quickly turned his head to the door of his room only to see Akaashi leaning against it, arms crossed and the corners of his lips slightly turned upwards. It seemed like the tiredness left his body at an instant and was replaced by a happy and toothy smile.“Good morning!” 
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The BokuAka-One Shot nobody asked for. Aka I'm so sorry for writing this.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there everyone! 
> 
> Just wanted to say sorry for all the mistakes I probably made while writing but I'm just a small German potato who doesn't know how to find a beta reader :,)

He was awakened by the bright and cold lights on the ceiling of his little room.   
He didn’t know how late it was for the lack of a clock nor did he have the option of glancing outside the window for only making an assumption which time of the day it might be. It didn’t bother him though. It wouldn’t change anything anyway.   
He rubbed his eyes tiredly as he sat up and swung his legs out of his small bed.   
“Good morning, Bokuto-san.”   
He quickly turned his head to the door of his room only to see Akaashi leaning against it, arms crossed and the corners of his lips slightly turned upwards. It seemed like the tiredness left his body at an instant and was replaced by a happy and toothy smile.  
“Good morning!” 

 

“Do you know what day it is today?”, Bokuto asked excitedly as he stared with wide and sparkling eyes at Akaashi, who had seated himself next to the other man on the bed.   
The dark-haired male raised an eyebrow in response. “Thursday?”   
“Aggaaaashee!”, the older one whined in a childish manner. “My parents are going to visit us today!”  
“I’m sorry, I forgot”, Akaashi said, eyes lowering at the ground.  
“Nahh don’t worry!”, Bokuto shrugged it off with an honest smile. “But don’t you want to stay with us this time? They haven’t seen you in a while and I think they’d be happy if you’d show up too.”   
Bokuto scratched his neck sheepishly. It wasn’t the first time he had asked Akaashi to join them. The latter always declined though. But Bokuto wouldn’t be Bokuto, if he’d give up on him so easily!   
“I don’t think this is a good idea, Bokuto-san”, Akaashi answered carefully. He was still looking at the ground, now studying his feet as if they were of sudden interest.   
“Aww come on! You always say that!”  
“I know, but-…”   
“It’s not like they don’t like you! My mum actually loves you, you know.”   
Bokuto looked with pleading eyes at Akaashi, who finally lifted his gaze, only to avert it from Bokuto’s face so he wouldn’t fall for his puppy-eyes. A heavy sigh escaped the setter’s lips.   
“Maybe next time”, he said.   
“You always say that, too!”, Bokuto complained with a pout now plastered on his face. He did not try to talk Akaashi into seeing his parents with him again though. At least not for today. It wouldn’t change anything. This much he already knew. Instead, he started ignoring Akaashi which was part of his whole pouting-and-acting-offended-thing.  
They fell in an uncomfortable silence. More than one time they stole glances at each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. More than one time did one of them open their mouth to say something, but not once was a word spoken, even though it felt like there was a lot that still had to be said.   
Bokuto blamed his current “home” for all this. Since he had entered this facility with Akaashi, they kind of seemed to drift apart from each other. At least that was what Bokuto felt and he did not like it. He didn’t even understand why he had to stay in this clinic. He wasn’t ill or anything nor did he want to. Also, the food tasted awful and more than once he had to talk with different doctors about his situation and events that happened in his past. He would never understand the purpose of it all.   
Time passed and finally the door to his room opened to reveal his parents. But before Bokuto stood up to great them, he looked to the empty spot on the bed beside him. He hadn’t even noticed when Akaashi had left. He must have been too distracted.   
He laughed as he hugged his parents. It always made him happy when they came to visit him. Their presence calmed him in a way only parents could do. Maybe Akaashi too, but he wasn’t here right now.   
“Honey, how are you?”, his mother asked, a gentle expression on her face.   
“Fine, I guess! It gets boring from time to time but it really is okay!”, Bokuto answered. He did not exactly tell the truth at this point but he didn’t want to worry his parents either.   
His mother nodded in approval and a sigh of relief left her lips. “That’s good to hear.”   
The conversation carried on with the normal and basic stuff like telling each other what had happened recently or making jokes. Bokuto almost felt like he was home again and just got back from school talking with his parents about what happened in class or at training. Almost.   
“Do you actually know when I can leave again?”, Bokuto wanted to know, after they all went silent for a moment.   
“I’m sorry, but no we don’t honey”, his mother answered honestly. Her smile seemed kind of sad now.   
“We hope soon and the doctors hope so too, but they can’t really say anything about this right now”, his father explained. “Just be patient, Koutarou.”   
“Alright, alright”, their son sighed as he tried to keep his façade as happy as possible. He really didn’t want to show any sign of weakness.   
“It just gets pretty lonely sometimes, you know?”, Bokuto said scratching his neck in an almost shy manner.   
“We know, Koutarou and we’re sorry.”   
Bokuto could see that his mother was about to cry at that moment. She nearly always did when she came to visit him and he didn’t want her to.  
“It’s okay though! I’ve got Akaashi with me!” He tried his best to grin as bright as possible to lessen his parents’ sadness, especially his mother’s. She looked at her son, mouth slightly opened. Her expression turned from sad to worried just in a matter of seconds.   
She forced a small but gentle smile on her lips as she spoke: “That’s good to hear, darling. I’m glad he’s with you.”   
Only a few words were exchanged after that. As the door opened again, Bokuto kind of hoped it would be Akaashi, who decided to join them in the end but it was just one of the nurses bringing in a tray of food.  
“I guess it’s time to leave know”, his father announced as he stood up. His mother following his father’s example. They hugged their son one last time before they left. The nurse waited for them to close the door before she went over to Bokuto and sat down next to him. She placed the tray carefully on his lap and pointed on a little baby blue pill next to his food.  
“Would you be so kind and take that pill from now on every day?”, she asked innocently.  
“Why?”   
“It will help you get better.”   
“Does that mean when I take this pill regularly I’m going to leave this place soon?” His eyes shined hopefully and his posture straightened in curiosity.   
“Yeah”, she answered looking kindly at him.   
He cheered happily before he took the pill and downed it with a glass of water that was placed right beside the pill.   
“Good job!”, the nurse said. After that she exited the room and left Bokuto with his food alone. When she opened the door and vanished, Akaashi reappeared closing it behind him quietly.   
“Koutarou?”, Akaashi spoke in a gentle voice. “I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to disappoint or hurt you.”   
“I’m fine, Keiji. Don’t worry”, Bokuto answered as calm as the other.   
“I’ve heard they make you take pills now, huh?”, the dark-haired male said, after seating himself on the edge of Koutarou’s bed. The latter nodded enthusiastically as he chewed on a piece of bread lying on the tray.  
He swallowed and began to tell Akaashi about the good news he just learned about himself.  
“The nurse said, if I take those pills every day I’m going to leave the clinic soon! Isn’t that great Akasheee~? Then we can play volleyball again and spend time with Kuroo and Kenma and I’ll be able to take you on a date again, like we used to do before!”   
Akaashi on the other hand didn’t seem to be as happy as his friend. Boyfriend to be more specific. He slowly inched closer to Bokuto and leaned his head on his shoulder. After closing his eyes, he answered.   
“I’m happy for you”, he said. “I’m so glad that you’re leaving this place soon, Koutarou. That’s all I was hoping for.”   
Bokuto’s happiness disappeared as he listened to Akaashi. Something was off.   
“Is everything okay? Did something happen?”, he asked concerned and looked down on his boyfriend’s face. That was when the first sob escaped Akaashi’s mouth. In an instant Bokuto put the tray away and turned towards Akaashi, who now rested his face in the crock of Bokuto’s neck. Then he started crying.   
“Keiji…Keiji, what’s wrong? Tell me… please tell me...!”, Bokuto pleaded kind of overwhelmed. When was the last time Akaashi had cried? He couldn’t remember. It was normally him who started crying but right now he just felt helpless. He didn’t know what to do. Bokuto tried to remember what Akaashi would do when he was crying. So he hugged the setter in front of him and murmured reassuring words into his ear and how much he loved the dark-haired male until he stopped crying.   
Bokuto never felt a single tear on the skin of his neck, if he looked back at this situation now.   
After a few minutes, Bokuto started to feel dizzy and sleepy though. His eyes fell shut more often and suddenly he found himself lying on his bed covered with a blanket. Akaashi was right beside him kneeling next to the head of his bed and combing Bokuto’s hair with his beautiful and slim fingers. Bokuto had always adored Akaashi and how his boyfriend was stunning in every single way possible. He was so proud to have such a boyfriend. A sleepy smile appeared on his face as he raised his hand to touch the other boy’s face.   
Before he could reach Akaashi’s cheek, the setter lifted himself of the ground. Boukuto’s hand dropped and his eyes closed again but he tried to force them open once more.   
“I’m leaving now”, Akaashi said. It took Bokuto a moment to realise what Akaashi just had told him.   
“’kay, see ya t’morrow ‘kaahi”, Bokuto yawned.   
“I love you, Koutarou”, Keiji whispered after he kissed the other boy gently on the lips.   
“…too…”, was all Bokuto managed to say before his eyes fell completely shut. The pill’s effect seemed to be pretty strong after all.   
He wasn’t sure if he’d imagine it but the following “good bye” sounded different than usual.

 

Akaashi did not show up the next day or the day after.   
A week passed and he didn’t come back.   
Bokuto waited as patiently as possible. From time to time he asked a nurse about his boyfriend’s whereabouts but none of them could answer his question.   
As the second week without Akaashi began, he started panicking. What if he got tired of Bokuto? And never wants to return? What if he’ll never see him again? He couldn’t picture a life without him…  
He laid on his bed, gaze focused on the white ceiling of his room as the first tear made it’s way across his cheek and dropped on his pillow. Another one followed and soon his face was covered in hot tears.   
Bokuto cried like a child that day. He cried like he had never in his life before and didn’t care if anyone heard him. He just wanted Akaashi to come back to him. Akaashi’s absence made him feel alone, scared and helpless. 

 

Bokuto started looking forward to when the nurse returned each day with a tray of food because the only thing keeping him sane in that time and the following days after were those precious baby blue pills he grew so attached to. They caused him to have dreams, in which his boyfriend appeared, where they played Volleyball with Kuroo and Kenma and visited his parents together. Everything was better in those dreams.

What he hadn’t understood up until this point was that Akaashi would never come back to him.   
Because it is simply impossible for the dead to come back to life.


End file.
